Oh it's a beautiful morning...

March 5, 2016

Yesterday was fun, sad and busy. March 4th.  It would've been mine and Mikes' 27th wedding anniversary.  Katie sent me an adorable bouquet of flowers to surprise me.  Huge sunflowers in a clay vase!  Lisa texted first thing yesterday morning and we exchanged memories and tears. Amie spent the entire day doing whatever I wanted which included facials, foot rubs and a steak lunch I didn't have to cook or grill!  As well as a hours-long TV netflix marathon.  I'm very lucky. 
     On a brief interlude between marathon episodes on the TV I stepped into the kitchen and could see the fireworks from the kitchen window that they were setting off down on River Street. Fireworks always bring back the night Mike proposed to me in Santa Barbara on the fourth of July in 1988 as we sat on the top of this huge winnebago parked in an beach parking lot while literally swarms of people walked by on all sides. Fireworks. Mike. Sighs.  Then back to the marathon and curled up all comfy sipping on my green tea and all wrapped up inside fleece blankets and a warm robe.  Gizmo lying next to me on the floor and Amie smiling from her comfy couch. Yesterday was full of sweetness and just hints and tints of bitter.   
    And then there was.....THIS morning.  And this was my thought....which I posted on Facebook. 
 But looking at my post...I think it also belongs in this blog :). So I am copying and pasting my fb post to here....

March 5.      "Okay...now have gotten through my third anniversary without Mike. Still hard but getting easier and am so grateful to my beyond-darling daughters, Jesus my Lord, Savior and lifeline, Mike's and my family and fantastically wonderful friends... for helping to make the past 2 1/2 years survivable. But..........    This morning I woke and stretched and smiled! And then...my first thoughts were about what did I want to do today...and I thought them with interest and enthusiasm!   Translation...I have reached a sought after destination !!!!!!!!sm  ile emotico. 

Some mornings (possibly as early as tomorrow) may become a throwback to past ones where my first thought and breath is about Mike..and missing him. But for this moment in time...THIS day...I was happy when I woke up and realized the day was ahead of me and my thoughts weren't about missing Mike but were about....what should I do with this pretty day!   

 I am happy to have experienced this.  Hoping more of these mornings follow.  Because this reaction to waking up...is a serious FIRST since Michael died."

So today...is good.  And it really is one beautiful blue-sky and puffy white clouds warm Savannah day outside.  What will I do with it? 

    
smile emotico